You just got engaged, YAY! Now you know you need to plan a wedding, but where do you even start? How do figure out how much this party will cost? These are my top 5 tips for guiding you in the right direction.
Photo: Andrew and Ada
TIP 1: Establish how much you actually have to spend.
Maybe the number you actually have and the number you want are different. That is OK. If you and your partner have not talked too much about finances, this is a good place to start. Talk to both sets of parents about any plans they have to contribute, and do you best to get an actual number from them. Parents might say, “ I will foot the bill for X, Y, Z” and that works too, but even so it is good to know what number they have in their head. The reason I think this is SO important is that you really do not want to go into debt (or more debt) to have a wedding. It isn’t a great way to jump into this new chapter of life. That being said, many people expect that whatever number they come up with can surely get them the wedding of their dreams because they usually have not confronted actual wedding costs yet. Weddings are expensive, plain and simple, there is no way around it. It is what our culture has morphed into, and even casual weddings can come at a high price tag. If you start at the number you want to spend, great! but know the actual number too because chances are pretty high that something you really want is going to be out of the budget.
TIP 2: Understand your own expectations
Sounds like a weird thing a therapist might repeat, right? I am absolutely serious when I say that 99% of the time people go over budget it is because they have an expectation that needs to be met, and they aren’t willing to sacrifice that. What I mean is, if you are obsessed with a photo you saw in a magazine or on Pinterest, you have no idea how much that cost to execute. The chairs alone might be $45 per seat, catch my drift? Write down everything you expect. Does your fiance write his own vows? Do you guests sit in plastic white chairs, or wood ones? Do you have a full bar? Are you getting hair and makeup done professionally that morning? Sit down together and write down everything. Maybe even label them based on how important they are to you, that will help you when you form your budget and do your best to manage expectations within the budget. When I work with my own clients, I have a budget that I show them “expected” costs so they understand what I think their expectations will cost them (based on Pinterest boards or desires they have expressed over our initial conversation. It’s a great place to start the discussion of what is important to them, so we can work the budget to fit their goals but also their expectations.
TIP 3: Prepare for “hidden” costs
The costs are not typically “hidden” per say, but if you have ever been online shopping you might understand that as an analogy. When you find something online to buy there is a price displayed. You typically know that you will pay that price, plus shipping, plus tax, right? There are some costs like the “tax and shipping” in that example that most people don’t incorporate into the budget (understandably so). Things that people do put on a budget: venue, dress, cake, flowers, food and beverage, invitations, rentals. Things that people typically do NOT budget for: delivery fees, set up fees, fees for short delivery or pick up times, hotel rooms for vendors who need to travel to your venue, event insurance, damage fees, extra invitations, and tips for vendors.
TIP 4: Anytime you say “we could add or change…” it will cost you something
This tip is critical when you are looking at venues specifically. If you are touring a venue and “we could add” or “we could change” comes out of your mouth it will cost you something. Usually that “something” is more than you think it will be. Draping linen on walls to cover unsightly artwork or boring ballroom decor is not cheap. Find someplace you think is beautiful as is, or can be beautified in a simple way that will be in line with your expectations as mentioned in TIP 2 above.
TIP 5: Do your research or work with a planner to establish your budget, do not use a template you find online
Why, you ask? Templates are great, but they are not one size fits all. They typically are not accurate at all when it comes to locations that attract higher end clientele. While many sites boast $25K-$30K is the average budget on a wedding, that is NOT the case in the Bay Area. To figure out actual costs, you can get a idea of the bigger picture easiest by contacting us, or your planner, for a consultation to talk about real, actual numbers you need to consider. As planners, we know what all aspects typically cost because we help monitor budgets regularly. If you are willing to put in the work and research costs on your own, I recommend you start with contacting some venues you love for pricing and asking what is included with the cost.